The five main types of shit and what to do about it

Through very little conscious design of my own, I happen to have a pretty face (shit I inherited). This comes with its own shit, but one upside I have discovered is it does make people click on articles.

There are five main kinds of shit 

Shit you inherited 

Shit you caused

Unfinished shit

Other people’s shit

Shit that happens

Of these five kinds, first of all rule out other people’s shit. You’ve got enough shit to deal with, you don’t need theirs too. Work out what’s yours and hands theirs back. You can’t heal their shit for them.

This may involve looking at shit you inherited and unfinished shit in order to say no, but trust me, it’s worth it, just to shave a whole load of shit off the pile. 

Inherited shit

Shit you inherited is a toughie. It’s yours and it’s not yours. But you can work on handling it. It may have upsides. Same with the shit you cause. You can minimise that.

Watch out for the unfinished shit because that one will have you chasing your tail for years. If you want to know what your unfinished shit is, ask yourself- What keeps happening? There’s your unfinished shit. 

But even when you’ve knocked off #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 you still get shit #5. Shit happens. It is part of being human. It doesn’t mean life is wrong or you are wrong. 

In fact, as you can see with 1 to 4 we already have a lot of shit on our plates. 

You’re asking shitty questions

With so much shit flying around, I wonder if we should be less inclined to wail ‘why can’t I be happy?!’ Or ‘I’m not happy what’s wrong with me?’

Rather be amazed; you’re happy AT ALL EVER?! You must be doing something right.

So maybe take comfort in that and build on that tiny little bit of possibility because frankly we are hawking round so much shit, causing shit and being enveloped in the general shittiness of others that it’s a fucking miracle we ever get brief moments of joy.

If with all the shit going down you even manage to smile ever, well, frankly it’s enough to make you believe in god. (I do btw just he’s not white and he doesn’t have a beard. He’s not black either. In fact, he’s not a he at all. Mostly. I sometimes get confused in relationships. Love putting chaps on pedestals - but that’s MY shit. Think there’s a bit of inherited shit in there too.) 

What next then?

Storms gonna storm. Interestingly enough, the etymology of storm is ‘stir’ - so I suppose a shit storm is a lot of stirred up shit. That’s ok - if it’s moving, you can move it right out of town.

So the question is, if shit is going to happen, what are you going to do next? How are you going to use it? Because it’s going to fucking happen, so you can’t brace or hide or dodge it your whole life. There’s no point in trying to make your life small and tiny and shit-free and hope that will fix the shit problem. 

Shit happens and you will feel it. And it will feel like shit, probably. And that’s ok. We are all with you. Maybe you can find some people who’ve been through the same shit. 

Handling shit

Things feel kinda big sometimes

After all is said and done, the question, I think, of who you want to be and how you want to make the most of this tiny little slice of time we get to call our life, is how you handle the shit.

How do you make it mean something? How adept are you at converting it into something good? How do you let it shape you for the better not the worse? And if you do fail falteringly at that, as we all do when shit hits our lives and we sink into acting out the shit we cause and the shit we inherited, can you allow that to teach you compassion? To offer yourself grace and understanding? And can you make a map so that when someone else lands in the shit you can help them find their way out too? 

Shit happens. Don’t fucking waste the chance it gives you to do something different, learn something new, feel something deeper, build better relationships. Make that fucking shit count.