Fear and anger are not enough
Fear and anger have mainly blocked my ability to be able to access feelings of love
Fear and anger are not enough to change the world. If they were, we’d have things sorted by now. Take a look around. As emotional energy goes, both of these are cheap to come by.
Don’t get me wrong, these feelings do generate a certain amount of usable energy. Perhaps that’s why we so often source our mojo from this place - fear of not being good enough, missing out, something bad happening - using that to push us on. Or spark up our motivation from being angry - at being rolled over for promotion, at not having the relationship, job or house we want. We’ll prove them wrong. We’ll do it. Fuck them.
I could have built a big fuck off castle with my fear and rage at one point. Or I thought I could have; turns out it’s more likely to give you a small mental breakdown.
It can wake us up, cause action, ignite things. It’s one reason why things that cause outrage are so popular online (humour generates energy too - funny things are also highly shareable). This theory of arousal states that emotions that arouse energy will prompt sharing - because when those energies shoot up, people want to do something - and the most obvious thing to do is click, share, retweet - take an action available to them in the moment.
Dog based content is also popular
Reflective, longer, nuanced pieces are less shareable, because they have us go inward, and energy and attention are spent that way instead. Of course, there are many reflective pieces that are well-read in spite of this, but that requires that they be more powerful and perceived as valuable and different. Which means time, energy, creativity and intelligence.
Or rather, get ready to be ready to be ready for Brexit., possibly, maybe, who knows?
If you think sex sells, then try fear and judgement
And who can be bothered with that when you’ve got a quick election to win? Or for the case of online media - traffic targets to hit? It’s much much easier, simpler and effective to simply pump out content that generates fear and/or anger and/or outrage and/or has us poke fun at the opposing point of view.
I’ve put a pretty picture in here in case you’re becoming depressed at the state of the world. Honestly, there’s lots of beauty too, promise.
Motivate people to the polls or the newsstands in that time-honoured way. Fuck creative vision or inspiration or hope. Instead foster division and difference. That might get people moving and shaking in December.
Other cheap tactics that people who work or have worked in the media may use are putting cute pictures of puppies in to keep you reading and scrolling.
Moral outrage porn
The problem is, these energies are unstable, unsustainable and ultimately harmful. There was a paper out this week that cautioned against a "moral outrage porn" epidemic, because it could lead to “outrage exhaustion”. Fear and anger do wake us up, but if we are hearing an alarm clock every five minutes, then we start to tune it out.
Even fear becomes boring, after a while
On a personal level when fear or anger is over responsive, we start to lose a sense of when something is truly unsafe or knowing what healthy anger feels like so we can assert our boundaries.
The alarm clock you tune out
We are so used to being in that mode that we can no longer use these energies as a helpful alert system. We risk doing the same on a collective level if we don’t start being more selective about how we respond to media and messaging of all kinds. We can all take action here. Things don’t go viral without other people’s cooperation.
This cheap-ass strategy of stoking fear and rage relies on us responding. It’s contagious and it’s difficult not to be part of it. One reason is because it looks so worthwhile sometimes and we are socially rewarded: either online with retweets or shares or with respect, power and importance.
Anger in my body feels like fire.
Are we glamorising fear and anger?
I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s fear or rage. It’s often reasonable, understandable and I can feel the same. However it’s not always helpful. Feeling those feelings too often isn’t good for our bodies - justified anger stresses our physiology just as much as unjustified anger. Fear is not always the best response to a problem. Fear can stop rational thinking. It can hinder creativity. Our memory-making can be affected.
We aren’t meant to be in crisis mode for extended periods of time. And yet in today’s world, a certain presentation of adrenalised crisis is euphemised as ‘passionate, driven, ambitious, go-getting’. A certain level of sharing terrible news with a fervent plea is seen as powerful campaigning.
Fuck the Tories vs Labour are terrorists
Identities are springing up around shared fears and shared rage, instead of attracting a following that is inclusive, broad and feels good. We can support and soothe each other as well as tackle and acknowledge difficult problems. But it’s hard to do that when we are all fired up. Upset people can’t listen.
Why this has to stop
According to a Cherokee story, an old man is teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”
The old man replied, “The one you feed.”
If we have to rely on generating fear and anger to move us, then every success comes from repeated feeding of our wounds. By encouraging the part of us that is afraid or angry, we reap some kind of reward. Or we think we do. Because frankly if how you get there determines how you feel when you get there, you’re going to feel very rubbish. That’s if it even works.
For a start if a group is formed to fight against something, then it relies on the very existence of the thing it’s fighting against to survive in its current form. On top of that, these are volatile and high octane energies to stoke. Of course they are - biologically they exist to warn us of mortal peril. All sorts can happen. You don’t want to end up in a situation where you have all this high energy and no way of metabolising it.
How much sensation or energy can you hold in your body before you have to dissipate or release it in some way? Some ways are more fun than others - and some sensations are more fun to hold!
Most of us can only hold so much fear or anger in our body before we have to dissipate it in someway. Sometimes it’s by venting, breathing slowly or going for a run. More extreme methods might be punching a punchbag or screaming. Really extreme methods might be developing an addiction, becoming extremely controlling or getting into fights.
What goes up has to come down
Winter is a time to come down
Fear and anger are high energy emotions, along with of course happiness and excitement and humour. But what goes up has to come down. After the holiday or the wedding or the exams end, after that peak, there’s a natural drop. And coming down well is an art form, or things start to look a little ugly. And that’s why elections should be mindfully approached. A whole load of fear and anger and anticipation gets pumped into the collective. This doesn’t look pretty on a personal level, and it doesn’t look lovely on a societal level either. Unfortunately this time of year is a particularly poor time to host one because it’s December and we are meant to be coming down anyway.
Bet he’s freezing. My Christmas never seems this cosy.
Ideally, this winter period is a time for restoration, reflection, connection, warmth and slowing down together. Traditionally we don’t do this well: in our current system, most of us, when it’s time to slow down, end up speeding up at work - to get it all done by the end of the year, before the holiday break. Then we prep manically for Christmas, and then parties, and forget connection - we have to travel to see families who in the main are people we’ve become chronically disconnected from and would prefer for it to remain that way. So we don’t come down, we go up - we run faster, draw on more energy reserves, and then crash down in a hungover fat depressed mess into January, our only relief that we are now chronologically as far from the repetition of that experience as we are going to be for a whole year.
The office Christmas party at the dance company that taught Theresa May, perhaps.
I have no idea what the election result will be this year, but I do know that we can be sensitive with ourselves afterwards. Our heads are horrible territory on a come down - it’s a time to be in our bodies, doing nourishing, easy, animal things. That looks different for everyone - it can be some kind of physical exercise that feels good - or cooking and crafting. Easy does it. Not too much analysis and concentration. Don’t expect your head to give you good answers. If difficult feelings come up, focus on where you feel them in your body, and relax around the tight sensations, rather than taking your thoughts too seriously. If a thought is reoccuring note it down to look at later when you have a not-so-comedown perspective. Plan something with someone you love, who helps you feel connected to the world. Watch movies that are simple and heartening. Avoid drinking too much or spending too much.
Ideally we start to come down a little now, and lay off the fear and rage, and monitor how much we are exposing ourselves to and how it makes us feel. Find what makes your heart happy and then make space for it. We don’t make the world better by taking on its trauma. We learn how to shine our light so bright that the darkness can’t help but dissolve in its presence.